?

Log in

The Worm Quartet Livejournal Thingy Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in the "Shoebox" journal:

[<< Previous 10 entries]

July 11th, 2013
08:21 am

[Link]

My bestest PayPal story ever...
A true story from years ago that I don't think I've ever told here:

At one point I used to have a side business fixing up old video game systems and selling them on on eBay . But between the day job and the band and the family, I eventually didn't have much time to devote to this, and started selling stuff only sporadically.  At some point during my initial decline in sales, I received the following note from PayPal:

–(snip)–

> Dear (My real name),
>
> As a high-volume PayPal member in good standing, you have
> been receiving our Merchant Rate of 2.2% + $0.30 on all
> incoming payments. Members with Merchant Rate pricing are
> asked to keep their payment volume above $1,000 per month.
>
> Our records show that your payment volume has dropped below
> $1,000 for two consecutive months. As a result, you will
> now be charged the Standard Rate of 2.9% + $0.30.
>
> Once you have brought your payment volume back over $1,000
> per month, please re-apply for Merchant Rate pricing from
> the PayPal website.
>
> Some ways to increase your payment volume:
>
> -Get listed in PayPal Shops
> -Place a PayPal Shopping Cart on your website
> -Become PayPal Preferred
>
> For more information, just login to your PayPal account.
>
> Thank you for using PayPal!
>
> Sincerely,
> The PayPal Merchant Account Team
–(snip)–

I was rather taken aback by this. They'd been a FREE service, they'd only recently become a PAY service, and now they were gonna raise my rate AGAIN? Anyways, I’d written to them before about various issues and their responses had always seemed kinda out there…like they hadn't even bothered reading my mail. So to test this theory, I sent them the following letter:

–(snip)–
Dear PayPal,

I had a REALLY good grilled chicken sandwich for lunch the other
day. It was juicy and tastily-marinated, and it was on a fresh-baked
roll, and it came with some seriously fantastic onion rings.

I really enjoyed it.

Thanks,
(My real name)

P.S. “PayPal” backwards is “LapYap.”
–(snip)–

A few days later, I got the following response (note that they even included my original e-mail in their response.)

–(snip)–
Dear Mr. (My real last name)

Thank you for contacting PayPal.
We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience that may have occurred
with
your account due to the erroneous downgrade to the Standard Rate.
Our intent was to advise you of our payment volume requirements for the
Merchant Rate. Unfortunately, your account was incorrectly downgraded.
Your
account has been adjusted back to the Merchant Rate.
We value your continued business with PayPal and look forward to
servicing
all of your online payments!
If you have any further questions, please feel free to contact us
again.

Sincerely,
Joe
PayPal Merchant Account Department
Original Message Follows:
————————-
Dear PayPal,

I had a REALLY good grilled chicken sandwich for lunch the other

day. It was juicy and tastily-marinated, and it was on a fresh-baked
roll, and it came with some seriously fantastic onion rings.

I really enjoyed it.

Thanks,
(my real name)

P.S. “PayPal” backwards is “LapYap.”
–(snip)–

WHY. DID. THIS. WORK?!??!?

Not sure I have an answer, but this experience gave me a new rule that has vastly improved my life: When you get an aggravating form letter from somebody, DESCRIBE A SANDWICH AT THEM!

-=ShoEboX=-

(5 comments | Leave a comment)

December 5th, 2012
03:53 pm

[Link]

Fun with e-commerce
WEBSITE: BUY ONE GET ONE HALF OFF SALE! 
ME: Cool! I need this thing and this thing! 
WEBSITE : OKAY! MOST EXPENSIVE THING FULL PRICE, NEXT THING HALF OFF! 
ME: Sounds good! And what the heck, I'll add this $3 thing because it's on clearance. 
WEBSITE: OKAY! FULL PRICE FOR TWO MOST EXPENSIVE THINGS, $3 THING HALF OFF! 
ME: Uh...okay, what if I add another $3 thing? 
WEBSITE: FULL PRICE ON ALL THINGS EXCEPT THE ONE $3 THING AT HALF-OFF! 
ME: Okay, you just lost yourself the sale of both of those $3 things. 
WEBSITE: AW MAN! 
ME: And actually, with shipping, that kinda makes the whole thing not worth it, so I think I'll look elsewhere. 
WEBSITE: WOW, I SURE WAS PROGRAMMED WITH CUSTOMER PSYCHOLOGY IN MIND! 
ME: I see. And how long have you sure was programmed with customer psychology in mind?
WEBSITE: YOU'RE NOT FUNNY.

-=ShoEboX=-

(4 comments | Leave a comment)

October 6th, 2012
10:01 am

[Link]

WORM QUARTET MINI-UPDATE AND BLATANT PLUG – 10/6/2012

WORM QUARTET MINI-UPDATE AND BLATANT PLUG – 10/6/2012

Hi, dammit!  Been a while since I've sent one of these stupid things out!  Here, have some information!

NEW WORM QUARTET CD “SONGS OF THE MANIACS” NOW AVAILABLE NEWS
YAAAAAY!  The new CD, featuring such tracks as “The Laundromat Of Sin,” “My Apologies,” “Less Than Three,” my cover of Henry Philips' “On The Shoulders Of Freaks,” and of course the Logan-award-winning “The Ballad Of Doctor Stopp,” is now well and truly existent!  The Kickstarter rewards are all shipped out, but I've still got boxes and boxes of these things in my basement! Mosey forth to http://www.wormquartet.com and pick you up one, won't you?

It'll be showing up in iTunes, Amazon, and all those stupid things in the very near future for you cretins who have abandoned physical media.

And of course that means:

WORM QUARTET CD RELEASE SHOW AND NYC SHOW NEWS

Wednesday, October 24th – New York, NY

Devo Spice Live DVD recording!

DEVO SPICE
w/ WORM QUARTET

$12 in advance, $15 at the door

2-drink minimum (doesn't have to be alcoholic)

Doors at 8:30.

Click here to buy tickets or call 212-868-4444

@Broadway Comedy Club
318 West 53rd Street
New York, NY  10010

Tuesday, October 30th – Rochester, NY

Worm Quartet CD release show – a night of comedy rock at the Bug Jar!

WORM QUARTET
DEVO SPICE
More TBA!

$5 over 21 / $7 under

Doors at 8:30

The Bug Jar
219 Monroe Ave
Rochester NY, 14607

ODOR NEWS
I smell like a variety of Indian spices, because whenever I go to an Indian buffet, the steam from the food gets trapped in my hair and I find myself desperately wanting to eat my hair for the rest of the day.

Thanks as always for the support!  Hope to see some of you at the NYC and Rachacha shows!

Needlessly scrutinizing the negamuffin,

-=ShoEboX=-
http://www.wormquartet.com

(Leave a comment)

September 15th, 2012
06:44 pm

[Link]

Shoebox's Chicken French Recipe
Shoebox's Chicken Motherfucking French
(A Shoebox-modified version of an anonymously-posted online recipe)
Chicken French is a dish that is very common in the Rochester area and its immediate surroundings, and is one of the few perks of living here.  Despite the name, it's not French at all, and can usually be found in Italian restaurants.
This is not the best Chicken French I've ever had, but it's definitely the best Chicken French I've ever made.
Incredients:
2 Chicken breasts
~1/2 cup flour
2 eggs
1/2 cup sherry (or white wine)
~1 tbsp butter
~1/8 cup lemon juice
1/2 tsp powdered chicken boullion
~2 tbsp Olive oil
Directions:
- Mix the sherry, lemon juice, and boullion and set aside.
- Pound out the chicken.  This is a fun activity.  Involve your 7-year-old if you have one available.
- Cut the chicken into manageable sizes (I go with a little larger than the size of a deck of cards)
- Break the two eggs into a bowl and mix them well
- Put the flour in a bowl or on a plate
- Dredge the meat through the egg wash, covering both sides, then dip it in the flour, covering both sides.  Repeat if desired.
- Put the oil and butter in a large frying pan and melt together at medium heat.
- Place the chicken into the fryer and fry until golden brown on one side.  Flip the chicken and add additional oil if necessary.
- About halfway through cooking the second side of the chicken, add the sherry, lemon juice, and boullion mixture (so it has time to thicken a bit.)
- When chicken is golden brown on both sides, it is done.  Pour the sauce from the pan over the chicken and serve. 
If it doesn't taste awesome, you did something wrong and should be very ashamed of yourself.
I usually serve this with vegetables and/or rice.  It is often served over pasta, but I don't like pasta, dammit.

-=ShoEboX=-

(Leave a comment)

June 14th, 2012
09:42 am

[Link]

Worm Quartet "Songs of the Maniacs" Kickstarter - LAST DAY!
Hi!

Today is your last chance to get in on the keenoriffic exclusive schwag available through the Worm Quartet "Songs of the Maniacs" Kickstarter!  It's been far more successful than I anticipated, and we're almost at the $4400 stretch goal!  So if you're interested, then make with the clicky and check it out!

In related news, here's a video for my newest song "The Internet Is A Big Warm Hug For The World" (also available as a free mp3 at The FuMP!)



Thanks for your support, dammit!

-=ShoEboX=-

(Leave a comment)

June 9th, 2012
10:25 pm

[Link]

WORM QUARTET MINI-UPDATE AND BLATANT PLUG - 06/09/2012

Hi, dammit! Just a quicky to remind you guys about:

NEW WORM QUARTET ALBUM KICKSTARTER ENDS IN MERE DAYS NEWS!
For those of you who haven't been paying attention, the Kickstarter for the new Worm Quartet album "Songs of the Maniacs" is in its final days! I'm doing this in lieu of preorders this time, so if you want to get the new album now (as well as bonus discs, DVDs, handmade keychains, or my entire discography on a bitchin' handmade USB flash drive embedded in an Atari 2600 cartridge casing, among other things,) this is how you get it!

My initial goal and my first stretch goal have both been reached - I'm blown away by this! Thanks so much for all the support! The new goal is $4400 for a moderately-massive studio upgrade, and we're still quite a ways shy of it but I'm hoping we'll get there!

You can check out my Kickstarter - and the various videos I've made to promote it, which people seem to be enjoying the crap out of - at http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1169494511/worm-quartet-songs-of-the-maniacs-album

WORM QUARTET IN ALABAMA, ROCHESTER, AND SYRACUSE NEWS
Want to watch me make my ridiculous noises in person?  Here are your upcoming chances to do so!

June 15-17th - Huntsville, AL

DeepSouthCon

Musical guests include:

Worm Quartet
The Great Luke Ski
Devo Spice
Power Salad
Seamonkey
Danny Birt
Steve Goodie
Nuclear Bubble Wrap
and Dr. Demento!

@ Embassy Suites Hotel
800 Monroe Street,
Huntsville, Alabama,

June 25, 2012 – Rochester, NY

Neothist
Eira
Worm Quartet

Doors at 8 / Noise at 9

the Bug Jar
219 Monroe Ave,
Rochester, NY 14607

Saturday, September 1 – Syracuse, NY

SYRACUSE REUNION SHOW!

Worm Quartet
Mysteios
Bitter Resolve
Vicious Rumors
Flashing Astonishers

Doors at 8

@ the Fusion Room
3705 Brewerton Rd
North Syracuse, NY

ODOR NEWS
I currently smell like balsamic vinaigrette, for reasons that are nowhere near as mundane as you might think.

Thanks as always for all that existence you guys keep doing, and for caring about mine!

Mocking the eggless,
-=ShoEboX=-

*WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ*
Check out the offical Worm Quartet page for
WQ news, history, merchandise, and music!
http://www.wormquartet.com
*WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ*

(Leave a comment)

June 7th, 2012
08:53 pm

[Link]

Worm Quartet "Songs Of The Maniacs" Kickstarter - FINAL WEEK!
We're in the last week of the "Songs of the Maniacs" Kickstarter, people!  7 more days to get yourself some exclusive schwag and help fund my lavish lifestyle so I can continue snorting cocaine off my gold records! 

Click here to check it out and get yourself some nifty schwag! Buttloads of thanks to those of you who have already thrown some coin in my general direction.



-=ShoEboX=-

(Leave a comment)

June 5th, 2012
07:25 pm

[Link]

Worm Quartet "Songs of the Maniacs" Kickstarter UPDATE!
Hi!

Have a Kickstarter update, with some new prizes and a new video featuring me running around Rochester like an idiot!



http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1169494511/worm-quartet-songs-of-the-maniacs-album/posts

NINE DAYS LEFT, people!  Let's make this thing happen!  Thanks for your support!

-=ShoEboX=-

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

May 30th, 2012
09:17 am

[Link]

Kickstarter! New stretch goal! New update! Stuff!
Adding a new stretch goal to the "Songs of the Maniacs" Kickstarter, and some video footage of me playing the friggin' piano, cuz why not!

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1169494511/worm-quartet-songs-of-the-maniacs-album/posts

Let's keep this momentum going, dammit!  Spread the word!  

Thanks for your support!

-='Box=-


(Leave a comment)

May 24th, 2012
02:44 pm

[Link]

Kickstarter reminder!
PING!

Hi, Livejournal people!  How've ya been?

The Kickstarter for the new WQ disc "Songs of the Maniacs" is still going, dammit!  I'm less than $500 away from my stretch goal and a ridiculous enhancement to the Worm Quartet live show experience!  

Prizes for contributors include CDs, bonus discs, DVDs, and these exclusive glorious flash drives built into Atari 2600 cartridge casings - handmade by ME!



Buttloads of thanks to those of you who have already contributed - those of you who haven't, here's a link!

(And spread the word if you can, dammit!)

-='Box=-

Tags:

(Leave a comment)

[<< Previous 10 entries]

The Official Worm Quartet Page Powered by LiveJournal.com